Writing Sample

My favorite writing from this class is the plot writing. I'm proud of how I created suspense  and I really liked my topic. However, the best part was the plot twists at the end. I apologize for the length.

Katie Williams

Let me start off by telling you; she said no.

Everyone has that one girl, where you take one look at her and know, just know, that she is going to be the one for you. Sadly, this wasn’t the case for me.

The way her blonde hair reflects the sunlight, or how her blue eyes light up when she gets excited, or when she taps her unpolished fingernails against the wooden table when she’s impatient; it’s the little things, I loved the most.

Meet Katie Johnson. I was infatuated with her. Where she went, I went too. I grew accustomed to the swish of her pony tail and the click of her shoes on the cold tile as she walked ahead of me. The only problem was; she had a boyfriend. And to further my distress, his name was Ben.

Ben Smith – Boyfriend to Katie, best friend to me.

It seemed unfair, how the world could do this to me. Cupid shot me with an arrow and seemed to forget to do the same to Katie. It was always Ben Smith and Katie Johnson. Why can’t it be me and Katie Johnson?

Just then I looked across the room. Ben and Katie were arguing. I could tell from the way her eyebrows furrowed as she spoke and the way he frantically moved his hands that they were fighting. She was wearing a pink bow in her hair and a jean jacket with small, matching jewels on the buttons. “Why can’t you listen to me Ben?” She shouted, drawing scrutiny from several people in the café.

Could this be what I’ve been hoping for? Could this be the end of their relationship?

Realizing the attention they gained, Ben’s face was cast downwards.  His eyes were inspecting his shoes like it was the most interesting thing in the world. Immediately, I felt guilty for hoping my friends would break up, but I couldn’t help it.

“Katie! I…I…” Ben stuttered obscurely.

Looking at Katie brought a smile to my face. Her face was flushed a faint tint of rosy pink and her eyes darted around the mass of people, looking anywhere but Ben.

“That’s it,” she whispered so lowly the sound barely reached my ears. “I can’t do this anymore.” Ben’s eyes snapped up in surprise and my eyes widened, taking in the scene in front of me. She broke up with him. I can’t believe it! This was a dream come true, but he looked stunned.

Hesitating for a second, I headed towards Ben and gave him an insincere pat on the back. His eyes were blank and his mouth was turned down in a frown.

“Sorry Bro,” I whispered.

            He looked up, meeting my eyes for half a second. “It’s ok,” Ben said. His melancholy expression dissolved away quickly. “Let’s just go play a game or something…” Ben didn’t seem the least bit upset, especially seeing as they were dating since September. If I were him, there was no way I’d let Katie get away that easily.

That was when I started creating a love letter for Katie. Ben was not in the mood for my coloring, so he left to play around in the kitchen. My big lettered scrawl was slanted on the paper. As I wrote, the marker smeared due to me being left handed. Looking over my handiwork, I bit my lip and frowned. In doing so, I could feel my front teeth wiggle a tad; consequently I rapidly released my lip from its grasp.

I wanted the card to be as perfect as she was, and it was far from that. Expeditiously, I threw it in the scrap paper bin and restarted with a new fuchsia sheet.

On the other side of the room, I could hear a high pitched giggle escaping Katie’s lips. Unconsciously, another grin formed on my face. But, when my gaze wandered across to where the sound was elicited, I scowled. Her fingers were interlocked with Jeremy’s. My stomach twisted with jealousy and I couldn’t break away from what I was witnessing. She moves fast.

            Kate looked across at me and we made eye contact. It seemed like we were staring for eternity. But, then she shrugged and turned away, clutching his hand even tighter. If I am going to ask her, I need to do it before the day is over.

            The butterflies in my stomach grew bigger and bigger the longer I waited to talk to her. My heart was pounding out of my chest and I could hear blood rushing in my ears. It was time to do it, I don’t need a love letter, I’ll just ask her.

            Maybe if I had flowers, or a ring, she would’ve agreed. But instead I walked over to her, tripping in the process, and got on one knee. Then I blurted the words, “Will you marry me?” No prologue or introduction, my proposal was straight to the point.

            Katie jerked backwards in surprise, flinching. Her decision decided whether I would have a white dress, a bouquet of flowers, and a tuxedo in my future, or a night spent by myself. It determined whether or not I would hear, “Ben Williams, will you take Katie Johnson as your wife?”

I was frozen in time, waiting for her response. There was a crowd of people around me now, I could hear the bumping and murmurs that follow a big group of people, but I was focused on the girl standing in front of me.

            She had one eyebrow raised when she finally spoke, “No Ben. I’m with Jeremy now.” I looked over at Jeremy and his smirk hit me in the gut. I nearly doubled over, in pain. Finally, I let out a breath, and with it came the tears. I spun on my heels, reaching for the door in my attempt to escape from the embarrassment behind me. My feet were pounding into the ground, creating a small thud with each impact.

            I’d never been so embarrassed in my life.

            I could hear the striking of heels behind me, alerting me someone was following close behind. Then, I heard someone call my name. Quickly I hid in the stairwell, not in the mood for being reprimanded about being somewhere I wasn’t supposed to be. Her voice was soft, nice, and trusting.

            When I revealed myself, the woman rushed over to me, apologizing for the event I was trying to forget. Her words brought a smile to my face and eventually she led me out of the hallway.

            That was the worst heartbreak of the first grade and also one of my fondest memories. That day, I met and got turned down by my wife, the still beautiful girl now called Katie Williams.

This represents the plot because it consists of entertaining events and suspense. For example, the reader doesn't know how he will tell Katie or how exactly she will respond. The plot twist really adds to the story because it puts it all in perspective. Before you learn he was a little kid, the reader probably felt bad for him. But after his age is revealed, it is more humorous. Lastly, I think the beginning had plot because even though it told her reaction, someone reading it probably wanted to know why. Overall, I'm proud of this piece of writing and it is my favorite from this class.